How do we eat the world if we're not allowed to? Sorry, its another rant.

EAT ME - how cute? ^^

As debbie wrote, these teenage years are one of the most crucial to developing who we are in the future. Scary. Actually, i just thought of the puppy school instructor telling me that the first few months for a puppy defines who they are and they will never forget any traumatising horrors that happen to them and be scarred for life...like if a massive labrador attacks it in a i-want-you-to-be-my-friend way...but anyways. I digress.

And its true. being a teenager means testing new fun and exciting things about life, gaining and losing friendships, the desperate lunging (but futile) attempt to gain independance/rebel (depending on what type of household you live in) from your old, childhood scene. We no longer want to be bound to the ways of the family, but we want to go out and make our mark in the world by ourselves. And if we can't........well, we act like the spoilt teenagers we really are and think its the end of the world. It isn't...usually.

As much as we want to learn more about the world and try new stuffs, sometimes we just can't. And its frustrating, because it feels like you're being left behind in the rush to grow up. Having a job as a teenager is only cool because its another "first time" experience, an excuse to be independant, and one of those "growing up" things that not everyone is allowed to do. (aha! the more something is unachievable for some people, the more everyone wants it, and the more "cool" it is perceived to be.) But have you noticed how no "grown ups" actually like working? Because everyone has access to it, no, actually, now society FORCES us to get a job so we can pay the neverending list of payments and bills that adults have to deal with.

So for me, I am one of those people who CAN'T get a job, and therefore perceive "getting a job" to be cool, and therefore think I am being left behind because i'm not allowed to. What does that leave me with? As a spoilt kid, it just makes me feel like I can't grow up like everyone else, and while everyone else is supposedly defining who they are, I just...can't. It's like a race, and i'm not losing, and i'm most definately not winning, technically I'm not even PART of the race, I'm not even in the audience watching, I'm just listening to someone tell me on the phone in another country about the excitement of what it is like, without ever getting a taste of what it really is "in real life". Anyway. Bad analogy. I'll never be any good at making analogies. I just confuse people even more. MOVING ON THE RANT NOW.

So I'm left with 2 options:
1) continue to mope and blog about it...leading me to overall general unhappiness, possibly longterm depression and a severe negative downturn in my personality development, future difficulty to socialise with people, inability to cope with any stresses in life and slight chance of future self-harm or suicide. Wow. That is...very positive and optimistic.

2) deal with it. Find another way to channel my urge to follow the crowd. Or maybe...i shouldn't follow the crowd? Do it a different way. Maybe just ignore the urge and overcome it. Or make my own path. Why should I follow the conventions of society? Can practising music and washing the dishes to be paid a child-like "allowance" at home be "as cool" as being out in the real world, meeting new people and getting real, grown up income? ...Probably not. Definately 100% no way. =__=

But what's the rush? I need to focus more on the stuff I HAVE not constantly whinging about stuff I CAN'T HAVE. I should be happy for people who can do stuff that I can't, and just find another way to eat the world. There is so much other stuff to do, so many other ways to eat the world without missing out. We need to SLOW DOWN and chew our food probably before swallowing it, otherwise we'll grow up too fast and regret fast-forwarding through the easy-going years of adolescence.