So I haven't been blogging for a while...that's because I've kind of been trying to dig myself out of the massive hole that I have dug myself into, if that makes metaphorical sense. Here's a bit of an update:
- My group split. I understand why my friends also wrote this as opposed to a massive post. It's hard to expand on such ... finality. But you know what? I had seen this happening for quite a while, and for me, it was like waiting for the bomb to go off...holding my breath. Choking.
- Our group (both old and new) wrote poems about our split and mutually offended each other.
- I discovered who my true friends really were.
- I started swimming.
- I got pumped for exchange. And hyper.
- I cried over a stupid science project.
- I made char siew bao with Amanda for Chinese
- I started to experience the joy and wonder of morning maths lessons.
- My confidence and self esteem in Chinese hit rock bottom, and I was reduced to almost-tears in two lessons in the same week.
- I got motivated by Ms Pang. Big time.
- I got into debating.
- I got stressed because accidentally buried myself in a metaphorical hole of excess co-curricular activites...again.
- I accidentally added to my massive self-inflicted hole by accidentally volunteering to write an article for College Crow.
- I withdrew from basketball.
- I rejected a job.
- I got depressed about the future.
yeah. I got depressed about how bleak and dull the future seemed all of a sudden. Basically I had a massive convo with my dad about what all these different courses were like, and everything suddenly seemed awful. Like at one point, I recently aspired to do a Law-International Studies degree. Then my dad told me the reality of studying law (I already knew it was boring though) but most importantly, told me how useless the International degree is. Basically, he said someone who was doing International studies in uni told him that the course is so crap and means nothing that they may as well burn their degree at the end of it. That's just lovely. And then he explained the reality of every other course I was considering, basically saying that you HAVE to take a pro course if you want a job later ie. do accounting, engineering, medicine, dentistry or law otherwise you'll never get a good job. Great. So I figured, if the course I need to is boring anyway, then I may as well choose one that will give me an interesting job. Then dad told me about the jobs. Its like, every single job I have ever thought of is boring, dull or means manipulating people. Except medicine. Oh yeah, and when I said I wanted to be a diplomat or an ambassador or something, he told me that usually only the Prime Minister picks them out of his most trusted ministers, you have to be a politician for a jillion years and then it might happen in your 60s if you're LUCKY. Which is just great. My theory:
When you're young, all you do is try and learn about everything. When you're in high school, everything is about the HSC. In uni, HSC means nothing and everything is about graduating OUT of uni. Then you have to try and get a job. Then everything is about moving up and being more successful in your job. Then when (if!) you get to the top, you retire, and then you DIE.
Which just makes life sound awesome.
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